This week’s recipe: Mint Chip Meringues
Congratulations, Paul Ryan. You’ve passed a bill that will kill more Americans than ISIS ever could. You’ve passed a bill that will take from the very neediest in order to give more to people who already have more money than they could spend in a hundred lifetimes. You claim to be Catholic so I assume you believe in Hell. Aren’t you at all concerned about how this is going to look to your Creator? I know the God you pray to cries when a woman aborts her rapist’s baby, but I don’t know His feelings on that same woman, after being forced to carry her baby to term, having her health insurance costs skyrocket from the double-whammy of having been sexually assaulted and having gone through a pregnancy. Maybe we’ll find out, but it’s okay regardless, because your actions this week no doubt pleased your real gods, Ayn Rand and your donors.
Divine retribution aside, there will be some earthly justice if this is what finally causes people to see the truth about what a phony you are and always have been. Sure, that should have been evident to anyone who read your Wikipedia page and realized that, while you’ve spent your whole 25-year career railing against the evils of Washington and the federal government, you have spent literally one year of that career not working in Washington, either for the federal government or immediately adjacent to it. But some people are kind of thick and needed a demonstration.
I’m thinking in particular of certain media types who crowned you the Wonk King of Washington. Now the world can see that you’re the sort of wonk who hastily slaps together the shittiest, most incoherent bill imaginable and rams it through before it has time to be properly read, let alone have its potential impact assessed, all in order to avoid a mean tweetstorm from the President. You know, a real policy wonk!
The same credulous morons who have bestowed upon you the title of “wonk” had such high hopes for you as the bright new face of Republican leadership. But you have an interesting way of leading. This bill is not going to become law. I don’t mean to say that there’s no way that it will pass in the Senate, but it won’t pass in anything like its current form; it’s completely radioactive and GOP senators are already distancing themselves from it. You’ve done nothing except expose the members of your caucus for the cynical, craven opportunists they are, and of course hand a “win” to a president who doesn’t give a shit about making good policy and who will stab you in the back the second it becomes convenient. The AHCA vote will be an albatross around the neck of any remotely vulnerable Republican incumbent running next year, and you won’t even have gotten anything out of it. That’s the sort of leadership we can get behind!
You and your fellow GOP congressmen did this to yourselves. You went around the country, whipping your constituents into a lather and convincing them that something that the Heritage Foundation proposed 20 years ago was actually the most dangerous threat to American liberty since the Red Menace. The truth is, Obamacare already is the free-market solution to healthcare. It’s not perfect, but there’s no better plan that would fit within your ideological parameters; if there were, maybe you would have been able to figure it out during the past seven years so it would be all ready to go once you got control of government. Instead, you rely on distortions and lies. You go around lecturing about how unjust it is that the young and healthy should have to subsidize the old and sick, which is literally the meaning of insurance. You say you don’t want a faceless government bureaucrat coming between you and your doctor*—no, that’s the job of a faceless insurance company executive. You maintain that your problem with Obamacare was that it led to higher premiums and worse coverage, but any bill that you support inevitably has the same problems (only worse), because you don’t think that the government should be involved in helping more people get health insurance. You seem to suspect that that’s not a politically defensible position in 2017, so instead of making an argument on the merits, you hide behind a cascade of obfuscation and bullshit.
I’m hopeful that this bill dies in the Senate, and all that happens is that when the time comes to run ads for the 2018 election, we have Republican congressmen on record voting to take healthcare away from 24 million Americans. (Those visuals of you guys partying it up in the Rose Garden after the vote should prove particularly effective, so thanks for that, I guess. I hope those beers give you all liver cancer and that Mo Brooks tells you that you don’t deserve treatment because you didn’t do enough to keep your body healthy.) But I’m still depressed to think that over 200 of our nation’s elected representatives could vote for something so obviously stupid and cruel. I hope you all get your comeuppance for it, and that nobody has to die because of your fathomless cynicism and inhumanity.
*Abortions excepted, of course.
So anyway, here are some meringues. As someone who makes a fair amount of ice cream and fresh pasta and whatnot, I always have a lot of egg whites in the freezer, so making meringues is a good way to use them up. Light, dairy-free meringues are the perfect Shabbat dessert following a big meat meal. Always be sure to use room-temperature egg whites. I took mine out of the fridge in the morning and made the meringues after work, and I’m still alive, so I guess it’s safe? These cookies got excellent reviews from my friend Hannah, who came over for Shabbat dinner, my friend Sarah who ate them the next day, and my nephew Simon, who is a big fan of the mint-chocolate flavor combo. And who isn’t, really? Can’t go wrong with a classic!
Mint Chip Meringues
From Joy the Baker
- 3 large egg whites, at room temperature
- pinch of salt
- 1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
- 3/4 cup granulated sugar
- 1/2 teaspoon pure peppermint extract
- 1/2 – 3/4 cup coarsely chopped dark chocolate
- Place a rack in the upper third of the oven and preheat oven to 250 degrees F.
- Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and set aside.
- Clean and dry the bowl of an electric stand mixer. Add egg whites and beat egg whites on medium speed until foamy. Add pinch of salt and cream of tartar. Increase speed to medium high and beat to soft peaks. The egg whites will be white and foamy, with large but tight bubbles.
- Gradually add the granulated sugar, increasing the mixer speed to high. Beat for about 3 minutes on high speed, until stiff, glossy peaks form.
- Stir in the peppermint extract and chocolate chunks.
- Egg whites will be spoonable, but keep their shape when dolloped onto a baking sheet.
- On prepared baking sheet, dollop out egg white mixture into two heaping tablespoonfuls. Space about 1-inch apart, although the meringues won’t spread as they bake. Place in the oven and allow to cook for 60 to 70 minutes. Meringues will brown sightly on the top and feel hollow to the touch. Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely. Remove from the parchment and serve with coffee or mint tea.
- Meringues will last, in an airtight container at room temperature, for up to 3 days.